How much is Virginity Worth? For most men, the answer will be very different than that for women. Most men, when thinking about their virility, think of it in relation to their virility as a brand or a commodity – how much more do they want out of themselves compared to how much they are worth?
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Women are often confronted with this question more than men. It’s not that we don’t value our virility; quite the opposite! However, this question tends to get us on the wrong side of the fence by demoting the woman’s worth in relation to her partner. We’re often told that a woman is only as good as her husband (or boyfriend), that she can only be taken as far as she will let herself go and that her family’s moral standing takes precedence over all else. And so it should be!
What men often overlook, however, is that a woman’s body, mind, and soul are all integral parts of her overall value as a person. Men often relate their virility to their body (which is why they’re asking the question in the first place). They’re also often raised within a culture where beauty is equated with wealth. As such, men often don’t consider themselves to be sexual beings. But remember, a woman is also sexual, and her desire and ability to be desirable are inherent aspects of who she is.
Virginity is an important part of a woman’s value and natural sexuality. However, the nature of modern sex work and the definition of what ‘private’ is tending to diminish its value in relation to sexual pleasure for both women and men. Instead, we tend to value virility solely within the context of the nuclear family unit – as if the concept of two equal and self-sufficient individuals with universal potential was only possible within the borders of traditional gender roles. This kind of limited view of sexual reproduction undermines women’s empowerment and underlines the fact that her body and her desires are things that belong exclusively to her.
It’s true that a man’s sperm alone cannot fertilize a woman’s uterus, but it is equally true that a woman’s ovulation – the release of an egg from the ovary – can. Therefore, the value that a woman places on her own fertility can never be reduced. And while many women (and some men) will try to castrate themselves to reduce their chances of getting pregnant, this practice diminishes their sense of self-worth and devalues their ability to experience pleasure. If a man decides that he’s had enough of being a sperm-pumping, self-defining male, a woman shouldn’t have to go through what she has been forced to in recent generations.
To answer the question above, a woman may want to ask herself whether her partner truly believes in her. Far too often, men assume that a woman’s level of fertility must match his own; in other words, if a man wants to settle down and have children, he needs to be able to impregnate a woman. If he’s not willing to do that, he’s not going to get the kind of relationship he wants or deserves. This kind of short-sightedness highlights the fundamental need for men to ask themselves how much is virility worth. After all, if a man truly believes that his mate is up for making a baby, he’ll want to make sure that she’s up for bearing his children.
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